Italian Meatballs Straight From Brooklyn

There are a myriad of ways to make a meatball.  Right?  But, the Italian meatball is the quintessential ball of meat.  It can be eaten with pasta or on a fat loaf of Italian bread drowning in cheese and sauce.  Or it can be sliced atop a pizza.  Or on top of some mashed potatoes.  And on and on, really.  You can’t do that with those absurd Swedish meatballs.  Have you have ever eaten a Swedish meatball sandwich?  No.  Because that would be gross.  Also, Ikea is lying about those things being delicious.

The traditional way to cook an Italian meatball is to fry it in olive oil in a frying pan before dropping them into the sauce.  I did this for decades.  Now I don’t.  Why?  Because it’s annoying.  And the way the men in my house can plow through a batch of meatballs, I’d be standing at the stove for days frying meatballs in precious olive oil just to make a large enough batch to have leftovers for just one day.  One day!  Stop this insanity.  Save your olive oil money.  Bake them.  I promise you won’t regret it.

But, but, but….I can hear some people stammering.  There’s the texture argument….the meatball needs an outer crust to survive being stewed in marinara to make it soft, but still hold it’s shape.  No, it doesn’t.  Next!  Oh, how do I know?  Because I’ve done it a million times.  Plus I have a trick.  Well, do tell!  The trick is water.  Seriously, it’s that simple.  Literally, the trick to a soft meatball that will hold together is a little tepid water in the mix.  That’s it.

Moving on.  The basic formula, regardless of what you season your meatballs with, is one egg, a half cup of breadcrumbs, and a tablespoon of warm water per pound of ground beef.  Salt it, pepper it, add all your weird ingredients to your heart’s content….this is the basics.  Just remember that simple food is delicious.

Now, I use seasoned breadcrumbs I made myself, so less has to go into my meatballs because most of it is already in the breadcrumbs….salt, pepper, cheese, dried basil, dried parsley, etc.  So, when I make meatballs, it’s pretty straightforward….breadcrumbs, eggs, water….that’s it.  If you’re using store bought breadcrumbs…I’m sorry!….but you’ll probably have to add additional seasoning in the way of salt and pepper, basil, onion powder, garlic, etc.

On a sidenote about cheese in the breadcrumbs….I use parmesan.  I do not use wood cellulose AKA Kraft “parmesan cheese” from a shaker.  It does make a difference.  However…if you like the taste of parmesan, but you’re on a Kraft budget, be wary of the amount of salt you add to any breadcrumbs you make yourself.  I learned this the hard way.

About the ground beef….if you’re buying it from the grocery store, get the fattier stuff.  Fat equals flavor.  Less fat equals a dry meatball.  Do not buy anything in a tube.  Some people will combine ground pork and ground veal into the meatball.  This is probably more authentic then the straight beef meatball, it’s true.  But I don’t eat veal on principle and ground pork gets springy texturally when cooked, which is the opposite of what I’m after, so I stick with straight beef.  Unless it’s an Italian wedding soup meatball, which as another post entirely.  This part is entirely up to you.