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Apple Pie

Ingredients

FILLING:

  • 6-8 large Granny Smith apples about 8 cups cored, peeled, and sliced
  • 1/2 cup sugar roughly...I use 3 handfuls
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg more or less to your taste
  • 1 teaspoon cloves more or less to your taste
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon more or less to your taste
  • 1/4 cup tapioca flour
  • 1/4 stick of butter however much that is
  • 1 egg beaten

PASTRY:

  • 4 cups all purpose flour plus more for rolling
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 3 sticks unsalted butter frozen
  • 1 cup ice water

Instructions

  • In a large bowl, coat the prepared apples in the sugar, nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon.  Toss to combine well.  Set aside for several hours.  I do my apples in the morning.
  • Meanwhile, prepare the dough.  Pour cold water into a cup or mug or whatever and place it in the freezer.  Give the salt and flour a quick whisk.  Chop the butter into marble sized pieces and combine them into the flour.  I use my hands to smoosh (that's a technical term) the butter into the flour.  Alternatively, you could use a pastry blender (I don't own one) or you could toss the whole thing into a food processor and give it a few pulses.  I'm kind of low rent and I didn't want to clean a food processor mess.
  • When the flour butter mixture looks like small gravel, add the ice water and stir to combine.  I use a wooden spoon or a stiff spatula here.  I do a kind of folding in method.  When the dough is completely combined (ish), turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and do a quick knead to get it really all together, sprinkling scant flour when you need to.
  • Form it into a makeshift round, cut it into four pieces, reshape them into rounds, and wrap the individual rounds in saran wrap.  Store them in the fridge and go do some laundry or whatever you have to do and come back to your pie later.
  • When you're ready to bake the pie (finally), separate the apples from the liquid that's formed.  Put the liquid in a small saucepot and boil it on medium or medium high and the apples in a different bowl.
  • While the goo is cooking, toss the apples with the tapioca flour.  Toss it well to get the apples evenly coated.
  • Roll out one round of pie dough to fit your pie plate on a lightly floured surface.  I shoot for a thickness of about a 1/4 inch or less.  To move the rolled out pastry from your work surface to the pie plate, fold the dough in half and then in half again.  I learned this the hard way with many ripped pastry doughs on my belt.  Then unfold it into the the pie plate.
  • Preheat the oven to 375.  Put the apples into the pie plate and press them gently down to compact them.  I do some fussing here, but not too long!  Keep an eye on the goo bubbling away on the stove!
  • Dot the apple mixture with the butter.  Top the the whole thing with the sugar goo.  It should be sticky and syrupy like.  I have no idea how long this takes, either.  Right now you're thinking, "What is with this ridiculous recipe?"  But it takes about 15 minutes.  Ish.
  • Roll out the second round of pastry and cover the pie with it.  Pinch the bottom pastry and the top pastry together to seal it.  Brush the beaten egg over the entire thing and dust it with a little sugar.  Cut 4 vent slits into the center of the pie with a knife.
  • Place the pie on a piece of foil in the center of the oven and bake it for between 35 and 60 minutes.  I know that's a large variance, but some ovens are just so weird.  I start checking it at 35 minutes.  Enjoy!